Mentorship kickoff 1.0 – being a (good) mentee in 3 steps
The vocabulary definition of mentorship includes 1 word which caught my attention: Guidance, an attribute without which mentorship is not existent.
What is guidance?
Guidance is advice or information aimed at resolving a problem or difficulty. It is giving direction, nor ready-made answers or solutions. Guidance is asking questions, listening actively and expressing empathy.
Guidance is the Stella Maris for sailors. Guidance is the Sun for Earth.
Guidance is the Stella Maris for sailors. Guidance is the Sun for Earth.
Mentorship is different from coaching. Although they have similarities, the coach is more of a trainer, performance-driven, whereas the mentor provides council and is rather reactive.
Mentorship is a coin with 2 sides – the mentor and the mentee. They are interconnected. When I became a mentor, I realized the mistakes I made as a mentee and now I want to share with you some of my lessons-learnt.
3 tips for up and coming mentees
1. Know your goal
- Do you experience challenges with work-life balance which are hard to navigate?
- Do you want to develop your authentic leadership style to advance in your professional career but you feel stuck?
- Do you need to improve your conflict management skills to perform better at work?
These are just some of the many questions to start asking and finding answers with the help of your mentor.
They give direction and structure of your joint work. They build the frame where you set the expectations straight, outline the topics, make a plan, and ultimately, give you a better idea about your progress.
Pro tip:
Having an end game helps, but the journey is as important. I did not have an exact objective to reach at the beginning of my work with my mentor. I had more of a feeling, a nagging thought I wanted to explore. I am convinced though that the most important prerequisite to any type of personal development adventure you undertake is the willingness to learn about yourself with an open and curious mind. The mentor gives you a different perspective based on his/her own experience, so discover your goal together WITH your mentor.
Just like the saying in the Art of Ikigai:
If you are wondering what your life purpose is, now you have one – to find the life’s purpose.
2. Proactivity is the best policy
Proactivity is in the realm of the mentee, no doubt. I am the one to ask (more) questions (more often), participate actively, seek advice. Most likely, your mentor is a successful person with a tight and hectic schedule, who values time, so don’t waste it. I took it as a personal responsibility to make it as easy as possible for her – for example, send an email in advance with a proposed agenda and do your “home-work”.
Pro-tip:
At ESCREO I was interviewing productivity masters and one of them said something like “productivity is all about being proactive.” So simple and yet genius. Being proactive is hard – it means taking actions, it means taking responsibility, it means being accountable (to yourself at least). Being proactive means being visible and going out there in the spotlight. That’s why I link proactivity to the evergreen TED talk of Yordan Zhechev “Reasons to stay, reasons to go” who put it that way “taking a position, owning a place changes everything”.
3. Invest in relationships

Secret to happiness? Numerous scientific researches (together with this 30M+ views TED talk “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness.”) have already proven the direct correlation of happiness with good relationships. Relationships determine the quality of your life. Think about your relationships with the people around you, dig deep and analyze your attitude, behaviour, habits, strengths and weaknesses. Work is important, but do not underestimate the power of bonding – how do you express emotions and feelings, are you genuinely interested in getting to know your mentor’s personality?
Pro tip:
It took me some time to understand that the relationship between a mentee and a mentor is equal. Nobody is in an inferior position. My mentor might be a pro in something but still he/she has a growth mindset. I am just as valuable. So I often shift my attention to “what can I give, how can I contribute?” and it affects the whole paradigm of our relations.
Mentee in the start-up world
Being mentored is a heaven mantra in the entrepreneur’s journey. Since our first steps we are encouraged to hear feedback, listen to mentors’ advice and just in general being mentorable (whatever it means). And while there are good mentorship examples, they are a few. One of the reasons for that is that nobody teaches us how to be a good mentee. We are expected to develop that skill by ourselves. In the midst of all struggles, though, it’s not a priority, it’s usually neglected, hidden in the closet.
Looking ahead
Mentorship culture in Bulgaria, like the start-up ecosystem, progresses slowly but steadily. I believe mentorship can play a key role in the exponential success of both current and next-generation entrepreneurs, as well as every member of the society.
Mentee checklist:
- Find the right fit – via your network, partners, Linkedin
- Set the expectations – make a plan and structure the meetings
- Be proactive, stay positive and value the relationship
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In the second part of the blog post I will expand on my personal mentors and my experience as a mentor. Stay tuned.
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